We are hurrying down the office stairs to meet the client. I am clutching a large case file and my Boss, a senior lawyer, is briefing me on client meeting etiquette. “basically you don’t say anything, just take notes” – the door approaches and I, without thinking, step aside. I awkwardly reach around so that I may hold the door for her, and make a semi-sweeping gesture. She pauses, gives me a strange look, and continues walking. “As I was saying, It’s very important you don’t speak…”
Why did I hold the door open and make her go first? Firstly, I had to step aside, the door was hinged on my Boss’s side so It was an awkward reach to hold It open. Secondly, a full grown woman is more than capable of holding her own door open. If anything, it was harder for me to hold the door open as I was carrying the case file and I was on the completely wrong side to hold the door open. And lastly, it created an unnatural break in the flow of the conversation, and caused the Boss to be mildly irritated, something an intern should endeavour to avoid at all costs.
So why did I hold the door open? Well I did it, because up until that point, holding a door open and letting a woman pass through first came as natural to me as manners.
“One ticket please.”
“Thanks a lot for having me.”
“After you Madame…”
A friend of mine works for a large investment trust in Sydney. She shared the lift with a barrister one day who, dressed in a flowing wig and dark cotton robes, was clearly on his way to court. The lift stopped on the ground floor. At the ding of the elevator, the barrister’s hand gallantly swept aside, staying the automatic doors. The other hand thrust across his chest, leading his body in a self-effacing bow.
“After you miss…”
She found it slightly offensive but mostly funny. Here was this old fogey, with his wig and his robes, clinging to a stoic sense of chivalry from a bygone age.
“Cheers mate” she said as she stalked out of elevator.
Why did the Barrister and I insist on making a woman use the door first? My friend didn’t find it kind or courteous to be made to go first, my Boss certainly didn’t appreciate my hapless efforts of holding open the office door and judging by the amount of awkward, who goes first dances I’ve suffered through, office workers in general do not appreciate it. Indeed, in this day and age where companies are striving for equality in the workplace, I don’t think there is any room for the outdated social construction that woman should be made to use the door first, and I think if you scratched it deep enough, it would smell slightly of backhanded oppression. So in the name of equality, next time I approach the door I will step boldly through first, unless of course I am not the closest one to the door, in which case I will politely wait my turn. I am after all a human being not an animal.
We would love to know your thoughts, discuss!
